shootyourshot | ➵ INBOX

[ There’s silence for a moment before a quiet shit is uttered. Another beat passes before someone actually speaks directly into the device. ]

Hey. It’s that IDIOT from the festival ... thing. Piers. Look ... this is gonna sound like a load of bollocks but I wasn’t myself that day. I’d never talk to anyone like that normally. Like, not even if I did find ‘em attractive.

... not to say you’re not attractive, but ... cripes, never mind that. The point is I was right creepy to you and you shoulda told me to piss off.

You don’t have to respond to this or anythin’. Yeah ... that’s all. Bye.

[It takes a while for Ferdinand to even find Ashe's physical address. His online inbox? Easy. But this? Well, it's worth it. Such things must be properly done! But once he does Ashe will find a letter in his mailbox, with a simple red seal- no crest or country indicated in the wax, since Ferdinand is lacking such a thing here. The paper inside is almost heavy due to its high quality, and the words are clearly handwritten with a quill and ink.]

My Dear Friend, Ashe

I apologize it has taken me this long to send this. But I do hope that the wait has only given me time to choose my words all the more carefully. I must thank you again for all the care you showed me when last we spoke in person, at the garden. Your kindness helped me overcome such a strange new experience with grace, and left a pleasant memory in my heart. I wish we had allotted more time to explore the gardens together, but even so, I hope the experience was just as fond for you as it was for me.

If it is not too bold of me to ask, I would very much like to plan a similar outing with you in the future? If you find it agreeable please feel free to contact me at your leisure. As charming as a letter would be, please do not feel obligated to respond in kind- these devices the gems offer us are so useful after all!

I look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,
Ferdinand von Aegir

Edited 2021-04-09 01:55 (UTC)

Hey, pal, have you got a minute? I could use your help with something.

Hey, little buddy, guess what! I found a job...maybe.

Uh, that's why I'm calling. I kinda need your help.

Ashe, we need to talk.

Hi Ashe. It's Claude, I just... this phone can't be traced so I actually use it more than the other one. Not that text is the best way to do this but I at least know you'll get it this way. Even if you have the other one blocked. Which would be understandable.

I didn't know Bernadetta was going to confront you about... things. I would have told her not to if I had. That wasn't fair on either of us. But since she started this whether I was ready to deal with it or not... I

I owe you an apology. It feels disingenuous to apologize when I can't change the behavior that caused the hurt, though. Not... fully. Or maybe just... not yet. I didn't mean to be hurtful but I do understand why you were.

There's a lot of reasons, things that have kept me alive this long. Things that, if we do return to our worlds from this place, I still need to have in place if I intend to make it to the future Ferdinand recalls. Which only makes it that much harder to even try to change things. But I don't want to keep hurting people. You and Byleth are both right about that. It's not fair to you.

So... I hope you'll understand why this.... this isn't an apology. I can't give you that in good faith. Not right now. Not without putting in the effort to make things better. Even a little bit. I know that probably sounds like a cop out and I can do nothing to disprove that.

But I am trying. If you have it in you to be patient with me. Hopefully I'll be able to give you that apology sooner rather than later.

Ashe,
Small steps, right? You don't have to answer but you deserve to see this. The sweets are حلوا "halva". Somewhere between fudge and marzipan. If you like it I can give you the recipe.
~Khalid

hey
are you up

foreword: this is NOT a booty call
but man I think I messed up
with that glowy body paint

[It's a warm July afternoon in the Emerald District Farmer's Market, and a gangly boy of about seven or eight has been staring at a basket of peaches near a family-owned fruit stall for a considerable length of time now.

He's dressed a little oddly for the Sumarlok aesthetic, to say nothing of the weather — he's got on a high-collared tunic with a wide belt cinching the middle, along with plain trousers and pirate-style boots with the tops folded over. The sleeves of the tunic are a touch too long, likely because whoever made it anticipated that boys of his age sprout up like weeds and had the foresight to leave a little extra to grow into. His hair, though kept trimmed, is about as unkempt as one might expect of a rambunctious lad, though he seems to be making a herculean effort to stay on his best behavior at the moment.

It's only natural that, after a while, his attentions would be noticed; it's a young woman and her elderly grandfather who are manning the stall, and the girl who eventually approaches him with a kindly look, making him gulp and draw his shoulders up into proper posture once he realizes he's been spotted.

A brief conversation ensues, the content of which is mostly lost amid the hustle and bustle of the market, but there are still hints and indications of what might be going on. The girl motions to the stall; the boy emphatically shakes his head. Something else is said; he pushes his hands deep into his pockets and glances away. A little more discussion is exchanged; finally, the girl points around to the back of the stall, saying something that seems to make the boy brighten. His spirits suddenly lifted, he darts around behind the shopfront; when he returns a minute later, he's struggling but succeeding at carrying a crate of produce around to the shopfront, where he quickly drops to his knees in front of a mostly-empty bushel basket of corn and starts unloading the box into it.

When his labor eventually completes, the nature of the little exchange becomes much more apparent: smiling, the girl offers him a pair of peaches, which he takes enthusiastically before waving and running off —

And, quite possibly, smacking facefirst into Ashe from not looking where he was going. Oops.]

oh heck, the golden dildo is identical to the pirate king's dick! he's getting his dick out in the treasure vault so he can double check and everything and

what does this MEAN WHY DOES IT LOOK THE SAME
don't tell me what it means i'm still reading but WHAT DOES IT MEAN

Hey, Ashe.

Can I, uh, ask you something?

Hey, uh.

Thanks for offering to buy me a peach, that one time. That was awfully nice of you, pal. Just figured I oughta say so.

Hey, Ashe! I bought you a present!

Now, now, don't fall over backwards thanking me or anything, and I DON'T need anything in return! I just saw it and it reminded me of you, so you're getting it, OK?

[Connor arrives at the promised time (on the minute, actually) and knocks on Ashe's door expectantly. He's excited to see some animals, but it's also a great chance to get to know the other man better.]

Hello? It's me, Connor.

There's a note!

Heya, pal!

Have a little something from me and the girls, to make you feel strong and cool and relaxed on your birthday! (I don't really get the bottle thing but it's some kinda joke that they promised me was really funny.)

Here's hoping somebody gifts you the moon today. 😉

- B

HEYA, PAL

Work's kind of slow today so I'm pretending to text so that Jade and Amber don't rope me into some crazy thing of theirs again (like always). How's it going with you?

Hey, Ashe! Remember that time we, uh...well I guess it was more like I, uh...sort of wandered into your dream? And then that lousy novel guy of yours turned into Holst?

Do you ever, uh.

Still think about that?

[ A small package arrives at his place on the morning of Christmas. Inside is a box of chocolates.

There is a poem on the card, about love and holidays. It's signed by Monika. ]

[Come December 25th, a box will via courier service (rather than being personally delivered) because let's face it, Edgeworth was well aware that he was most likely going to be a fucky mess come the actual Christmas holiday, and so he did what any sensible Type-A person would do and took care of it all early.

Inside, Ashe will find a ludicrously expensive watch and cufflink set, and a handwritten note.]

Ashe —

I hope you'll find some use for these. Wear them in good health, and with my compliments.

Regards,
M. Edgeworth

[Ashe's gift arrives in the form of an envelope slipped under his door, which means it may seem a little unassuming at first — until he opens it and discovers a glossy brochure, accompanied by a handwritten note.]

Hey, little buddy! Check this out — isn't it neat? It's something new every month! I figured you'd enjoy having something fancy that kept on giving and giving and giving. Hope this helps remind you all year long that you should never forget to treat yourself right! — B

( Delivery for Ashe Ubert! The package is neatly wrapped in deep green paper covered in cute little Christmas trees, and inside it contains a little gardening and hand-pampering kit. The attached note is succinct but sincere: )

Little Sparrow,

This Christmas thing isn't so bad, is it?

I probably don't tell you enough, but I'm glad we've been able to spend time together here. Sometimes I think back to the kids we were before Garreg Mach and I miss those little guys - but it's been a privilege to get to know the man you've become.

Keep that chin of yours up, yeah?

- Yuri

Does your coffee shop by any chance make cakes to order, Ashe?

➵ TDM OVERFLOW

Some days after THE INCIDENT

hey ashe, want some snail mail?

text; un: king.of.grappling

no subject

un: bernie | text

@Tascheter || The day after.... ^that