shootyourshot | ➵ your honor hasn't died

➵ your honor hasn't died

The promised reunion is a day away now. It might be a little ridiculous to think that anyone else will show up, but Ashe is at least determined to keep his own promise. If no one else shows, well... they couldn't be blamed, honestly. Not in the face of war. However, Ashe couldn't ignore his own sense of honor, even if the trip has been harrowing and cold, dangerous as he slips by Imperial soldiers and thieves alike. He'd rather avoid taking a life unless he absolutely has to.

The sight of Garreg Mach is bittersweet. Five years ago, it stood so proudly, bustled with fellow students and teachers, soldiers and knights, and those that were loyal to the church. There's little life to it now, dusted with snow and rubble when there should be murmuring and laughing students, the bark of a dog, and a lively marketplace. It should be different, but this is the reality of it now.

Still, he makes his way into the monastery, keeping his bow in hand and ready to reach for an arrow if he has to. The villagers warned of bandits and thieves, and he'd thanked them for their words and went on his way regardless.

It's foolish and selfish, he recognizes that, but the first thing he does is look into his own abandoned room. Not all of his books had been salvaged unfortunately, and he'd only taken his favorite with him. The others here have been exposed too much to the weather, as he had failed to lock the door in his escape. He looks forlornly at a scarf he hadn't managed to take with him either, the last thing that Lonato had given him before...

Well.

Anyway.

He continues onward. What he hadn't expected were fairly fresh bodies collapsed on the stairwell to the Goddess Tower. He thinks they must be Imperial Soldiers based on the armor, but some are so mauled that he isn't certain at first. Carefully, he goes on up the stairs, cautious as he takes an arrow. Just in case.

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He knows he did not miss any. He counted the bodies, after all. Can't let one slip away, they're always liable to bring back more, a mistake that only need be made once. When he hears footsteps, he's actually surprised. Perhaps just a lone thief come to ransack the place even more than it already has been. There's hardly anything left to take.

He was just about to settle himself down under the archway and wait for sleep to eventually insist. That will have to wait. The slight figure paints a rather obvious silhouette. Whoever they are, they're foolish, not even bothering to stay covered. Maybe a lost villager. A good scare will send them running no doubt. He flips over his lance and silently climbs up one of the stone piles. He's heavy, but he's quite good at making no sound, despite all of that heavy armor.

They just walk into it too- he can see they are armed now, a bow. Nothing that will help at close range.

When the lance strikes the cracked ground, it splinters the stone right in front of Ashe's feet. Dimitri is quick to follow, landing and tumbling to catch it up in his hand so he can soundly pin the intruder to the floor. A clean kill-

It stops though, the blade catching moonlight and reflecting it up off a familiar face as it hovers just above Ashe's throat. There's such a long pause, it almost seems like he's simply an automaton that just now ceased function, if it wasn't for his heavy breathing perhaps. Right now, he's simply trying to discern if Ashe is a ghost or not. His eye wild and face unreadable. After those tense seconds that feel like hours stretch out far too long, he lifts his foot and the tip of his weapon away. He offers no hand, but simply turns his back.

No. Not now.

"Return to your grave, specter." He'd finally come to his decision."

Of all things, Ashe doesn't expect such an ambush. Both bow and arrow scatter across brick, and he's reaching for his dagger hidden in a sleeve, but it's too late--

And he finds himself on his back, staring up at at a familiar face, only one eye looking tragically back. In shock, Ashe goes still, his green eyes wide and confused for a moment before Dimitri slips away. He swallows, tucking his dagger away before he goes to retrieve his bow.

"Your Highness."

He'd heard rumors, but it was difficult to swallow as reality, and not out of sheer stubbornness. After all, why would a victor claim to have executed their enemy and not show for it? In all this time, Dimitri has been hiding, he supposes. Yet, he's... different. In so many ways.

"I'm not a ghost. I'm here."

"Do not. Call me that." The growl comes so sharp and rough, it almost really does sound like an animal. "There is no prince here. Not anymore." It's hard to piece things apart in his mind. Not a ghost? Not an enemy.

"Why are you here then? What have you come to torment me for? Did I kill you myself? What happened to dear, sweet Ashe. Too afraid to even speak-" He draws in a hard breath, turning to look at him again. "I let you die too, didn't I?" Again, suddenly, Dimitri is too close, standing over the shorter man like a long shadow. Slowly though, a hand extends, and presses faintly into his shoulder.

The anger cools and behind is left the steely grief that permeates his whole being.

"What are you... doing here? Ashe?" His name floats off Dimitri's voice like a tired raft, withering as the would-be king sinks down to sit on the broken tile.

It truly is like watching a feral beast, pacing around and waiting to protect itself. Somehow, even after five years and growth on his side, Dimitri's gotten even larger, towering over Ashe.

He swallows dryly as he feels the strong grip on his shoulder, waiting to see what he does next. Instead, all he does is slip to the floor, as if broken. Time has not been kind to the prince, and Ashe knows too well what that's like.

So his eyes have sympathy instead of fear or disgust. He kneels down before Dimitri, to get closer to his eye level.

"Because we all made a promise, didn't we?" Ashe answers softly. "I hoped to see you again, but I admit I didn't expect you here yourself. How long have you been here?"

Somehow, it's almost worse, hearing someone speak kindly to him in god knows how long. He's afraid to reach out for it, afraid it will turn to ash like everything does when he tries to find purchase.

"A promise..." Yes. Five years, we'll have a reunion. Everyone will come together again, a celebration. A festival. His heart aches. "I don't remember." He admits, not having kept track of time beyond a certain point. The whole business is a roil of strange emotions. Sadness, dread, nostalgia, fear and a lot of shame. Ashe admired him so... what a wreck he is now. He must be disappointed.

He should be disappointed. His dear prince, surrounded by dead, stinking of blood and filth.

"I am sorry. Sorry. You should go. There is nothing here anymore. Nobody is coming back they're all dead and gone now."

"Is that so? Because it looks to me like you're even earlier than I am."

Instead of obeying, Ashe decides to have a seat next to the prince. What would the Professor do in this situation? It always felt like he had the right answers, but maybe that's just how much Ashe and everyone else looked up to him. A brilliant tactician, encouraging their strengths and bypassing weaknesses.

He rolls the bow in his hand. He wants to ask about Dedue, but he can already put it together. Hopefully his friend is out there somewhere, but he could not fathom Dedue staying away from Dimitri for long. Ashe quietly prays to the Goddess to not forget Dedue, that perhaps he is indeed safe somewhere in the world. Too much cruelty has happened already to Dedue; he deserves better.

"You're here. So I wouldn't say nothing is here." Ashe looks up at him. "And who knows? If we're here, surely the others could be on their way."

Ah. Still upbeat to a fault. Dimitri can't decide if that's comforting or irritating. He settles to scoff at the reply though.

"Foolish." His whole body jerks with the word, curling around his lance a little more as if to protect himself from any inking of hope Ashe might want to accost him with in this moment. "If you must be here, perhaps you can assist me."

This changes nothing, he tells himself, slowly rising again to his feet. The bandits outside the city need to be slaughtered. Those were his evening plans. Unfortunately for him, when he stands, the blood rushes from his head. Ah. Yes that's right. He hasn't eaten, hasn't slept, hasn't-

He falls like plank, straight forward, unconscious before he even hits the ground with a sick thud.

As soon as Dimitri crumples to the ground, Ashe lets out a startled yelp before he's crouching by the prince's side.

"O-oh! Your Highness!" Ashe reaches for his shoulder. "I... oh dear."

There's no way that he can move Dimitri much at all, but he does seem to be breathing at least. Ashe lets out a soft sigh; he must be exhausted, no doubt running and hiding as he has been. Taking a moment to check over Dimitri, he determines that there's no immediate injuries that need tending to. Instead, he takes a moment to roll the prince onto his back, letting the cloak cushion him.

"I'll be back," he whispers, as if Dimitri can hear him.

Ashe is not gone long. He simple retreats to one of the dorm rooms in order to snag some supplies before quickly returning, having long accepted there'd be no way he could pick up the prince even if he wasn't wearing his armor.

When he returns, he tucks one of the pillows under Dimitri's head before also draping a blanket that's a bit musty over him. Not ideal, but better than nothing. With that done, he sets to making a small fire. It's a tiny thing, but enough to bring even the smallest hint of warmth for the two of them.

"I'm sorry for not coming even sooner," Ashe says, even though the unconscious prince cannot hear him. "I don't know what you've been through, but... I won't leave you now. Not when you clearly need someone."

It is hard, watching the prince he so admired and adored become this, but mostly it just makes Ashe sad and wishing he could help more. There's no doubt in his mind that Dimitri still has his nobility, even if he's ragged as he is.

When Dimitri wakes again, it's morning. He finds himself on his back... even more curious is the pillow and blanket. It takes a moment for the memories of the previous night to return to him. The smell of smoke from the dead fire reaches his nose and he sits up with a start.

"Ashe?" He's kicking himself, feeling like an absolute fool. He let himself get his hopes up again. Stupid. He always falls for the ghosts doesn't he? It wouldn't be his personal hell if he didn't. That is, until he spots the smallish figured balled up not too far away on the ground. His heart twists.

So it was real. Quietly, he gets up, moving to drape the blanket over Ashe before finding his lance, propped nearby, and moving off to look over the landing of the steps. Smoke slowly rising from the houses in town... people are waking up. But there's movement down the way. People are coming. There are people- not enemies. He knows those colors. They're kingdom colors.

Their friends are really coming. Dimitri swallows against a lump in his throat, feeling his eyes sting. This doesn't fix things. This doesn't fix anything... but. He turns to look at Ashe again.

Edited 2021-02-10 04:58 (UTC)

There's some shuffling and a yawn, then Ashe blinks blearily. Not the most comfortable place to sleep, but he's honestly done worse when he was still a thief. But he doesn't remember the blanket.

Glancing up, he sees that Dimitri is awake. Rubbing his eyes, he pushes himself up to his feet.

"Your Highness, what is it?"

He goes to have a glance out himself. In the distance, he can see the kingdom's colors. Ingrid on her pegasus in the distance, leading others. Walking hand in hand are Annette and Mercedes, and he can see Gilbert's red hair even from here.

Ashe smiles warmly, even if he can only bitterly think that it's a shame that they're missing the Professor and Dedue. Not everything could be perfect, he supposes.

"We should meet with them."

"Yes." He says softly, still a little mystified that everyone is... almost everyone is here. "Just. Please don't call me that." Before Ashe can offer ay argument, he's descending the steps.

It's a strange time. Overwhelming. Everyone is tired, he can see them splintered from war and fighting, but they're still here. They're alive. They've come back. They're not ghosts. Suddenly the world is bright, and he's not really prepared to deal with that at all. He makes his stance clear. They are to crush Edelgard for all she's done. There's talk of rebuilding, of celebration.

He finds himself still standing in the cathedral, by the time everyone has wandered to bed. It was as though the rush of color and noise happened all around him until it had tired itself. Just like that, the monastery is living again. Breathing. He wishes that he could say the same for himself.

The ghosts still whisper to him, when all the noise is gone. He stands looking at the piles of stone and tile.

It's amazing how much he's missed all of them and all of their habits, their voices. Even Felix's surly behavior is one that he has fondness for and is glad to have back, or the way Sylvain teases everyone. It's nostalgic, even if he wishes that it could be all of them.

But at the end of the day, so much feels accomplished. Ashe knows he made the right choice.

In the cathedral, it is empty save for Dimitri himself. It's less welcoming than it used to be. He remembers sitting in the pews, trying to make sense of Lonato's rebellion, praying to the Goddess for answers. It's colder now than ever.

Still, he approaches the prince, a bowl of stew in his hands.

"Y--" He catches himself. "Dimitri, you should eat something and keep your strength up."

Anyone else would have probably gotten growled at and ignored. That is his first reaction- and he does growl at first. Ashe is correct though. He needs his strength to kill Edelgard. It's nice that he remembered not to address him formally. It's better that way.

He takes the bowl and sits down on the floor. The spoon is wholly disregarded, and his manners have perhaps atrophied as he devours it like a starving wild animal. Guarding it almost, hunched over and protective. It's kind of impressive in a weird, gross sort of way, how absolutely feral he's become. It takes him no time at all to finish it, and truth be told, it does make him feel better. A warm meal, prepared and cooked properly? It does make him feel a little more human.

"Thank you." He finally grunts, after much deliberation of the empty bowl.

Despite how Dimitri eats, there's no disgust on Ashe's face, just understanding and empathy. He'd been in much of a same position before, eating out of sheer desperation, especially when one forgets how much they've been starving until presented with food. Manners don't matter when you're given a meal after so long.

If anything, he just tells himself that he's glad that Dimitri is eating. That's what matters right now. Everything else will have to fall into place after that.

"You're welcome," he replies gently. "You know, it's very late. Everyone else has gone to bed. You might want to consider the same... or we can do something else to keep you occupied."

Dwelling doesn't do anything to fix what's already happened. And he wants to gently encourage Dimitri to do something for himself. Something that will ground him.

He really wants to snap. There's that anger that he would throw out at just about anyone. Everyone. Even the professor, he could snap at, but Ashe? Ashe is just... look at him. He's got a face like a sad puppy. Even Dimitri, in his all consuming grief, feels his rage fizzle when he looks at him. His body releases the tension it held a moment before, and he truly does feel tired.

"I would prefer not to." Is all he manages, breathing a shallow sigh. "Perhaps something else."

He'd have just left it at no, but again, he has a hard time not allowing Ashe wiggle room. Something about him makes Dimitri feel halfway normal. His jaw clicks as he turns slowly to face the archer, as if awaiting instruction. In a sense, he is. Despite clinging so desperately to control of whatever he can, he feels lost most of the time.

There's a bit of relief at knowing that Dimitri is, at least, trying to have a conversation with him. He could have told Ashe to go away already, but he hasn't. It allows some hope knowing that their prince is not far gone. Perhaps lost, but his noble heart is truly still there.

Ashe does his best to not smile; instead, he nods, understanding. Sleep can be hard when your personal ghosts haunt you.

"Well, how about a bath, then? I was already considering one myself, so I've been warming up one of the tubs already. I think it might help both of us."

How long has it been since he's had a real bath? Not in the cold of the river or a few splashes in a puddle somewhere. He'd started to count the rain these days, as bathing. No doubt, he reeked. The feeling of grime on his skin no longer warranted his attention, and he can't even smell himself anymore.

The thought irritates him, but Ashe probably won't leave him alone, and it's better than attempting to sleep, submitting to more nightmares, more whispering and voices.

"Fine." He growls, picking himself up, motioning for Ashe to lead the way.

Now Ashe cannot resist a small smile, quietly pleased that Dimitri has agreed. Though he turns to lead the way, he does glance over his shoulder briefly to ensure that the worn down prince is still following him.

Up toward the sauna is where a couple of them made quick work of cleaning out and preparing the baths. Truly, Mercedes and Annette are the ones to thank for that and their hard work. True to Ashe's word, as they step into the bathing area, he has one of the larger tubs warmed up, steaming rising up from it.

"Do you need help with your armor?"

"No." The answer is short but lacks the same bite of the past few days. Instead he just starts slowly unclasping his armor himself. Pieces by piece it comes off. He should probably have more shame, getting naked like this in front of someone, but all his care is shoved down with the rest of his feelings that don't involve killing or survival.

He just drops his armor where it lands and stretches his tired body. There are so many wounds that have been left untended. It's a wonder that he hadn't suffered any serious infections like that. He hisses softly as he sinks into the water. The dirt and filth is actually visible as it runs off him into the water.

That does manage to draw a vaguely bewildered look from him.

Ah. It's really that bad, isn't it?

And just like that, Dimitri just undresses completely in front of Ashe. For a moment, the archer just stares, extremely flustered and unable to look away. There's so much to see that he just eventually has to force himself to tear his eyes away as soon as Dimitri is stepping into the bath.

Right. Okay. Ashe undresses himself in a hurry, leaving his clothing neatly on a chair before he goes to join the prince in the bath.

"You should turn around," he says in a tiny voice. "So-- so I can wash your back. It'll be hard to reach, right?"

"Okay." At least he's cooperating. He does as he's asked. Having his back washed is a little painful. The old scars still ache, and the new ones sting. He growls about it, like a wild dog being tended to, but he sits still, just lets his fingers dig into the side of the tub.

It needs to happen. Just bear it.

It isn't until Ashe hits a particularly sensitive spot that he snaps, whips around and pins the poor man to the other side of the tub, breathing raggedly, that wild look on his face again.

"That hurts." He snarls, hand splayed across Ashe's chest, keeping him pinned there.

The wounds look tender, but Ashe knows they need to be cleaned. So, he does try as gently as he can. Maybe he could somehow convince Dimitri to allowed Mercedes to heal him. Not that Ashe gets very long to think about it, not when Dimitri suddenly pins him against the tub's side.

Ashe's eyes widen for a moment, feeling a strange mix of fear and-- something else. Yikes.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly, his hand resting on Dimitri's wrist. "But you wounds need tending to, Dimitri."

"Hnnn." Dimitri calms slightly at the hand on his wrist. He slows his breathing and glances down.

"Oh." The uh- surprise is enough to break his attention long enough to snap him out of his defensive rage. He actually blushes. So that's how it is. Gingerly now, he backs away, letting Ashe up and turning back around.

"Proceed." He mumbles much more softly.

For a moment, Ashe has no idea why Dimitri reacts the way he does, at least until he looks down. Reluctantly, Ashe does the same and-- oh Goddess no, this is horrible. This is worse than anything. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he just perished right now. Ashe's face is beet red, and he doesn't move for a moment.

He wants to apologize, but he isn't even sure if he wants to address this inconvenience. Instead he tries to think about-- puppies. Kittens. Frozen fields. Rotten fruit. Something to calm himself down.

Swallowing hard, Ashe brings up his nervous hands to start to clean again.

"You--" His voice cracks and Ashe wants to cry about it. "--should really have a healer tend to you."

"No." Dimitri answers simply at first, wincing as he's washed. "Healing magic has always felt... too intense for me." His voice is even again, sounding more like himself. Maybe it's the awkwardness of the situation that actually overtakes his own anger.

"I apologize." He finally says, a bit more hesitantly, "For jumping on you like that." He's probably overthinking it. Sometimes those things just happen. He's all too aware.

"I will be fine."

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