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Eh, that's not your fault. I wouldn't have let you even if you'd tried, and I know you tried. So don't take it personally, okay?

I wasn't really big on accepting help back then. Especially not from strangers.

Don't worry, I didn't. I think a lot of us as children had a tough time with strangers because of our experiences. Even I did until Lonato took me in.

But you didn't really answer my question. Are you all right?

Well. To tell you the truth, I've been thinking a lot more than usual, and you know how dangerous that can get.

You were worried I was hungry, yeah? You thought that's why I wanted the food. That wasn't exactly what I was after, though. It was just something I did a lot. Made things easier.

Things easier? In what way? I thought it was a little strange admittedly but I figured you probably didn't know what else to do in a place you've never been before.

Something like that. What I knew was I got lost, and more importantly that I got lost without Holst. That meant whenever I got found, I was gonna be in hot water, and Holst wouldn't be able to get me out of it like he usually did.

My stepmom used to lock me in the attic. I learned to keep food in my pockets so I'd have something to eat until morning.

Oh, Balthus...

Hey. Do you want to talk about this in person? I can make us some tea or something. But if you want to talk about it like this, that's okay too.

Hah. You just trying to get me in person so you can give me a hug, Ashe?

You got me figured out. You seem like you could use one. And I'm always happy to listen to you too.

All right. Let's meet up, but on one condition.

No feeling sorry for me, okay? I mean it.

I won't. I just want to be there for you, like when you've been supporting me.

All right. Pick a place and I'll be there, and you can ask me whatever you want.

These aren't very nice stories, Ashe. Just keep that in mind.

Let's see. I'm working on getting my own place soon, so for now you can meet me in the Professor's. Everyone else is out right now anyway so we'll have some privacy. I'll get started on some tea.

It's okay. They're parts of you, but they don't define you. And I'm not unhappy to be here for you.

Sounds good to me. I'll make my way over; shouldn't take too long.

Hey, whatcha making? For the tea, I mean.

You like Almyran pine needles, right? The Professor knows everyone's favorite, so I've been growing a couple of trees for tea.

Yeah! I have some too, actually, they were in a letter that Holst sent me.

Not a new letter, I mean, don't get your hopes up. This place saw fit to deliver me a packet of a bunch of old ones. From Holst and from my mom.

Oh, but that's really great! I'm glad you have some things from home. Even just rereading a letter like that must be nice. I wonder if I could try to get stuff too like that.

Anyway, I'll make sure it's ready when you get here. I'll personally drink just about any tea, so I'm interested in trying this.

Sounds great. I'll see you soon!

[And for once, it's Balthus who comes knocking at Ashe's door after one quick handwaved travel sequence, and not the other way around.]

[When Ashe hears the knock, he calls out with coming, I'm coming! before he bustles over. It's nice to have the manor more or less to himself, especially to have some personal space for Balthus.

He opens the door and offers up a smile.]

Come in, the tea's ready.

Heya, pal.

[The door opens, and without missing a beat, Balthus reaches out to ruffle Ashe's hair, grinning at him as he makes his way inside.]

Whew! Never can get used to the size of this place. You're gonna have to lead the way so I don't get lost in here, all right?

[An easy going chuckle slips out at the ruffle. It's something a lot of people do, but he doesn't really mind.]

Sure! It's not too complicated, at least. It kind of reminds me of Castle Gaspard a little bit.

[He takes Balthus by the ends of his fingers, as if somehow he'd end up losing him in the manor.

The manor itself is very reminiscent of their homeland in a lot of ways in terms of the aesthetic and simplicity, but the hearth and stonework in the kitchen is where Ashe loves it best. It's here that there's a dining table, and two steaming cups of tea. There's some cookies of course, too, as Ashe couldn't really help himself.]

Make yourself at home.

Hey, you got it.

[He lets himself be led, smiling faintly to himself at the sweetness of the touch to his hand, and when they reach the kitchen and its ready-set table, Balthus accepts the invitation to sit in stride. As he slides into his seat, he reaches into his coat and produces a packet of letters held together with twine, some very obviously creased from being folded and unfolded dozens of times.

It's not exactly hard to guess what those might be; he sets them carefully out of the way of any potential spills of the tea, but close enough at hand that they're still within reach.]

So. Where do you want to start?

[As Ashe settles into his seat, he picks up a teacup and gently blows on it before taking a sip. It's actually not a bad flavor; it reminds him a little bit of mint, but not quite hitting that either. Still, he can see why some people like it so much.

The question makes him pause.]

I guess... maybe start with your earliest realization of what she was doing to you. As kids, we don't always realize things like "this isn't how it should be" or that kind of thing, you know?

[He takes his own tea, but doesn't sip it or even raise it up to his mouth at first, preferring instead to rotate it idly in its saucer, and then after a minute, to run his finger absently around the lip. It smells great, and it is his favorite; it's a little like having Holst close at hand, actually.

Maybe that's why he's not sipping it just yet. Because Holst is such a part of this, too.]

Well. She hated my mom, first, is the thing.

[His finger traces the rim of the teacup again.]

You know, you'd probably like the story of how my mom met my dad. It really was like something out of the storybooks. She was from this little town in the mountains, never been out to see the world before, and my dad...I mean, he was the Baron Albrecht. Alliance nobility. She got herself into some trouble, he rescued her, they fell madly in love...

But you know how it is with noble families, yeah? Bloodline's everything, and hers was a complete mystery. My dad's family hated her from the moment they laid eyes on her.

[It really does sound like something out of a book, however bittersweet it has ended up. Ashe does smile faintly, cradling the warm cup in his hands.]

I'm gonna guess they put a lot of pressure on your parents. But I know how much you love your mom; if someone hated her, that's a pretty big sign to you no doubt.

Yeah. So I guess you could say the first thing...is that I remember my stepmom saying my mom should've taken me with her, when she left. She didn't know why my dad bothered to keep me.

[Now at last, he picks up the teacup and smells its contents, buying himself a moment.]

I'm about five, six years older than my half-brother. I remember my stepmom making me follow her through the house while she broke everything my mom had left behind. Any trace of her, anything that'd been hers when she was the Lady Albrecht...she wrecked it all. She wouldn't even sleep in the bed that'd been my mom's; she had 'em cut it up for firewood, and her family paid for a new one.

It was a pretty clear message, yeah? Anything that was my mom's, gone. And I was my mom's.

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